"Three AM is a good time for intimate details, but a terrible time for formatting. So, I will tell you intimate details, but forgive me for they will not have paragraphs or verses or line breaks. I may spell something wrong or miss a comma, but the idea will be there, I promise. I want to tell you everything. The last time I cried I was in my car in the parking lot of my high school. My friend didn’t get into the college of her dreams (which she deserved more than anyone) and since her world crashed around her, so did mine. The time before that I was in my car in the parking lot of a middle school. I guess I have a thing for crying it public school parking lots. That time it was about a boy. I cried until two of my friends came and got me and we went to a diner and got the shittiest milkshake I’ve ever had, but I felt better drinking it than I did crying in the parking lot. The first time I saw my father cry was during an episode of Little House on the Prairie. I didn’t ask him about it. Ever since then I always check to see if he’s crying during sad movies and TV shows. A lot of the times he is. I watched every episode of Little House on the Prairie in fourth and fifth grade. It was on every night at 8 PM. My sister and I watched, put our pajamas on during commercials, and went to bed at 9 PM when it ended. That was the beginning of my TV addiction. My first crush’s name was Brody. It was in the first grade. I moved away in January and he told me that he would miss me more than a sack of potatoes. When I saw a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream I realized that plays didn’t have to have singing and that realization changed my life. The first play without singing that I was in was also a Midsummer Night’s Dream and I was a fairy. The first play that I finished writing was called The Beach. I was fourteen and I tried to make it an allusion to Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. It will never see the light of day as long as I live. I am glad that I have a twin to say as my answer for when people ask me who my best friend is because I have so many people that I love too much to chose one. The first time I got drunk I was sixteen and I drank Smirnoff out of a water bottle in classic high school fashion. My favorite two playwrights are David Lindsay-Abaire and Edward Albee. Once, when I was a freshmen I fucked up a scene from Rabbit Hole so badly that I cried when I got home because I pictured David Lindsay-Abaire watching it and laughing at me. The two things that I fear the most are that I will not be able to find happiness doing what I love and that I won’t ever find someone who fully understands me and loves me anyway. I realize that those are two incredibly selfish fears. Sarcasm is a defense and I have a black belt in it. If I could be anyone when I grow up it would be Seth Meyers. My favorite place to practice monologues and poetry is in my car. If my Abuela calls when I am home alone I don’t pick up, not because I don’t want to talk to her, but because I want to have her voice on the answering machine as many times as possible, just in case. I have never admitted that to anyone. I think it would be incredibly romantic to get drunk on wine and bake cookies with someone. I am not ashamed to admit that I aspired to be Taylor Swift in middle school. Her song called Mary’s Song still makes me nostalgic. Johnny Cash is my guilty pleasure. Anything that he sings with June makes me very sad and I’m not sure why. I have a list of the seven women who I would fuck no questions asked and I think everyone should have something of the sort. I get hickies really easily, but I wear scarves a lot anyway so it doesn’t really matter. Sometimes I listen to music on Spotify only to make the people who see what I listen to on Facebook think I have good taste in music. I have read Little Women at least five times and I dressed up as Louisa May Alcott for a project in fifth grade. I was a counselor at a bible camp for 2 years after I stopped going to church only for the community service. I once spent five hours making a replica of the Vanderbilt Mansion in Newport for a school project and it came out like shit. I don’t think that my generation’s affinity with social networking is a bad thing. I hate editing, so I’m not going to read this through when I’m finished. I hate it when people get a book and open to the last page. Any day can be fixed by a baked good on the counter when I get home. The first time I stayed up 24 hours was for Relay for Life in eighth grade and we ran around the track singing Here Comes the Sun as the sun came up. I was in the green reading group in first grade and that was a big deal. My favorite food group is bread and people that don’t eat carbs astound me. I don’t have a good way of ending this and it’s 3:34 AM so I think I’ll just say good night."
— "Now Tell Me Everything About Yourself. I Want to Hear it All" by Claire Luisa (via claire-luisa)